How Can Social Media Impact Your Divorce?

An old adage advises one to “think before you speak.” Nowadays, this can also apply to writing, blogging and so on while getting divorced. Facebook and Twitter are only two of the many different on line communities you can join, but they also carry risks and should be used with discretion.

Your spouse and his/her attorney may be able to see your comments on Facebook or other networking sites. Furthermore, each entry in these sites will trigger “Google Alerts” they can set on your name.  If you join and participate in these social networks, what you write and the pictures you post, among much else, will be in public view in perpetuity. Therefore, be careful not to say or do something you might regret later, even if you enjoyed saying or doing it at the time. You would be wise to assume anything you write or show on the web will be shown in court to a judge or jury; so ponder if it will it look good for you or hurt you in the legal sense. Digital evidence is, essentially, a huge factor.  Not only can it be used, but quick little comments and photos can be taken out of context.  It can also be used to substantiate nefarious claims such as alcohol abuse, endangerment of children, infidelity, et al.

There’s little the besmirched can do legally, unless there are children involved or the level of disparagement meets the parameters of Texas’ newly passed Internet harassment law. Regardless, family-law courts routinely issue restraining orders to prevent one parent from disparaging another to a child.  The First Amendment regularly comes into conflict with the family-law courts.

And as the age of online-social-network users creeps up, it overlaps more with the age of divorce-lawyer users, resulting in the kind of semi-public laundry-airing that can turn aggrieved spouses into enraged ones and friends into embarrassed spectators.

Lawyers love sites like Facebook, MySpace and LinkedIn, which can be evidentiary gold mines. In 2010, it’s now routine for lawyers to go over with clients whether they have an active presence on Twitter or have a MySpace/Facebook page. Lawyers advise you to scour your page for anything that could be used by your ex’s legal team, with good reason, as half the topics on social sites are personal opinion posts, something spurned spouses typically have. On the walls of two Facebook groups — I Hate My Ex-Husband and I Hate My Ex-Wife, which together had been joined by close to 300 Facebook users as of July — posts include all manner of vitriol.

To help, Time Magazine listed five “no nos” for those in the midst of divorce in a recent issue.

Paraphrasing:

• Don’t “show off.” Pictures or discussions of new purchases or vacations can color the court’s view of your finances and affect your settlement.
• Don’t show off your party photos. If you’re in a custody battle, your ex’s lawyers would love to present you in an immature light.
• Be careful of those who’ve “tagged” your photos. It’s not just your page you have to worry about. Those can be used against you.
• Don’t vent too much, talk negatively about lawyers, judges and especially your spouse anywhere. Your kids can read this too.
• Don’t cut everyone off at once: in-laws, your ex’s friends, etc. People need time to adjust. (and you never know if you’ll need their assistance down the line.)

The Bottom line in all these instances is hardly rocket science: Think before you act.